Wayfinder Reads: Transform Your Practice with Insights from Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
February is often called the month of love, but it’s also a great time to focus on relationships—the ones we build with others and the ones we nurture within our teams. Strong, empathetic connections are at the heart of what makes any practice successful, which is why this month’s Wayfinder Reads pick is Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall Rosenberg.
Rosenberg’s book isn’t just about avoiding conflict (though it helps with that, too). It’s about learning how to connect—genuinely and empathetically—with the people around us. For medical practices, where emotions can run high and teamwork is essential, the principles of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) can be a game-changer.
Why Nonviolent Communication Matters
At its core, NVC is about replacing blame, judgment, and defensiveness with curiosity, empathy, and understanding. It’s not just a communication strategy—it’s a mindset shift. In Rosenberg’s words, “What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.”
In the day-to-day operations of a private practice, this approach can help in so many ways: managing difficult conversations with patients, fostering teamwork among staff, and even improving leadership dynamics. Imagine what could change if every interaction—whether with a patient, colleague, or vendor—started with understanding rather than defensiveness.
How Practices Can Apply the Lessons of Nonviolent Communication
Here’s what stood out to me as I read, and how your practice can put these ideas into action:
1. Observations, Not Judgments
One of the first principles of NVC is to separate observations from judgments. For example, instead of saying, “You’re always running late with patients,” you might say, “I noticed that two of your last three appointments went 15 minutes over.”
How to Apply It:
With Your Team: When giving feedback, stick to specific observations. Avoid words like “always” or “never,” which can trigger defensiveness.
With Patients: Practice this during tough conversations, like discussing missed appointments or billing concerns. For example, “I noticed that you’ve missed two follow-ups this month” opens the door for understanding rather than blame.
2. Express Feelings Clearly
Rosenberg emphasizes that we often confuse feelings with judgments. Saying, “I feel unappreciated” is actually a judgment, while saying, “I feel frustrated” is a true expression of emotion.
How to Apply It:
With Your Team: Be transparent about your emotions in a professional way. For instance, “I feel overwhelmed by the pace of patient check-ins today” invites your team to help problem-solve.
With Patients: If a patient is frustrated, reflect their feelings back to them: “I hear that you’re feeling anxious about this procedure.” Validating their emotions can help diffuse tension.
3. Focus on Needs, Not Positions
At the heart of NVC is identifying the needs underlying our words. Rosenberg teaches us to move beyond positional arguments (e.g., “We can’t squeeze in more patients today”) to uncover the deeper needs (e.g., “Our team needs time to provide quality care without feeling rushed”).
How to Apply It:
With Your Team: When conflicts arise, ask: “What does everyone need in this situation?” For example, if your front desk staff feels overwhelmed, their need might be more support during peak hours—not just shorter shifts.
With Patients: When patients push back on scheduling or billing, focus on their needs: “It sounds like you need more clarity about this charge. Let me walk you through it.”
4. Make Requests, Not Demands
Rosenberg explains that true collaboration comes from making requests, not demands. A request invites choice, while a demand triggers resistance.
How to Apply It:
With Your Team: Replace “You need to finish this now” with “Can we prioritize this today to meet our deadline?”
With Patients: Frame follow-ups as opportunities: “Would you be able to come in next week? It will help us stay on top of your care plan.”
What This Means for Your Practice
As I read Nonviolent Communication, I kept coming back to how much our work at Wayfinder depends on meaningful, clear, and empathetic communication. Whether we’re partnering with practices to improve processes or collaborating within our own team, the way we connect with one another matters deeply.
For your practice, these principles can do more than smooth over conflicts—they can strengthen your team culture, deepen your patient relationships, and help you navigate even the most difficult conversations with confidence and care.
Take a moment to reflect: Where could your practice benefit from more empathetic communication? Is there a patient who needs to feel heard? A teammate who could use more support? A process that’s causing frustration? Start small, but start somewhere.
Your Next Step: Practice Empathy Every Day
In the coming weeks, challenge yourself and your team to try one principle from Nonviolent Communication. Whether it’s using observations instead of judgments, validating feelings, or reframing demands as requests, see how it changes the way you connect—with patients, with your team, and even with yourself.
At Wayfinder, we’re here to help you build a practice that doesn’t just function but flourishes. Because when communication flows, so does everything else.
Next Month’s Pick
Stay tuned for our next Wayfinder Reads, where we’ll explore another book that inspires growth and transformation in private practices. In the meantime, we’d love to hear: What’s one way you’re fostering better communication in your practice?
Here’s to meaningful connections in our businesses,
Amy
